Nurse Perky

I forgot to include a couple of things yesterday in my post.

First, I meant to wish Ali a very happy birthday! I'm hoping your birthday brings Bill & Ted some luck on their transfer day.

Second, I totally forgot to tell you all about Nurse Perky. She's the one who came in after the transfer to give me my discharge instructions - bedrest, no kickboxing or rock-climbing, etc. Oh. My. GOD. This woman was unbelievable. I have NEVER seen someone who was so happy. I honestly think this woman must fart sunshine. She totally reminded me of Dr. Sydney Heron (had to look that name up on IMDB) from Grey's Anatomy. You know, the super perky clinic doctor who hits on McDreamy? That was her. I don't know that I can write with the syrupy tone of voice she used, but it was that tone that makes you just want to slap someone. (And I'm generally not a violent person.)

She reviewed our instruction sheet - reminding us about no intercourse for 4-5 days. I thought to myself, yeah - that won't be a problem since we'll be in different TIME ZONES, but didn't say anything. I just nodded so she'd get this over with and I wouldn't have to listen to her anymore. She gave me an all-knowing look and added, "But backrubs and footrubs ARE encouraged!" - with that little voice inflection on the end of "encouraged", making it sing-songy. Oh, and she winked.

I was probably more annoyed with her because I had remembered some of my questions (now that my bladder wasn't the size of a basketball, I could think a little more clearly) - but she couldn't answer any of them. Literally, she was there to make sure we could read the sheet. That's it. Oh, and to blow sunshine & butterflies at us, apparently. I'm surprised she didn't wish us sprinkles of "baby dust" or something nauseating like that.

Now, I think I'm generally a happy person. But I sure hope I'm not ever that annoying. Holy moly, I wanted to slap that poor woman. Probably not best for the embryos for mama to be having violent thoughts! Nurse Perky did provide us with some entertainment, so we'll take that wherever we can get it!

I think Dad and Cindy might let me off of the couch tomorrow. Everytime I get up to go to the bathroom, I hear - "what are you doing up?!" Damn creaky floors. They have been taking wonderful care of me, but it's weird for me to let someone else do things for me. Like having my dad make my oatmeal. Weird. It's all for the greater good though, so I can definitely deal.

I haven't turned on the TV today. For those of you who don't know me, I will watch any ridiculous crap - my roommates returned home one afternoon about 10 years ago to me watching senior clogging on the local access channel. So for me, it's best just to keep the TV off. However, a friend from work just e-mailed me that Oprah is about hoarding. I just might have to check that out.