Random (again)

I don't even know how to start this post. I have so many things swirling around in my head, so this might be a little disjointed. (What else is new, right?!) This is what happens when I don't post often enough.

First, a few random stories...

Last week, I ran into a woman who used to work in a cubicle near me. She had just had her first baby back when we started trying and I remember thinking, "oh good, I'll have someone at work to talk to about pregnancy, etc.". She moved to a different office and I rarely saw her. At some point, I remember hearing she had her second. You know how time passes, but you somehow expect everyone to stay the same? I ran into her in the garage at work last week with her kids. I stopped short and caught my breath. Her children aren't even BABIES anymore. One is entering kindergarten and the other is a toddler. It just hit me how much time has passed since we first started trying. You'd think I'd know that and be used to getting lapped - but somehow a living, breathing GROWING human child makes it all too real. Kindergarten? Really? Wow.

Then, I was talking to a woman at the gym. We've talked before; I've told her about IF. We were talking about my sister having her baby any day now. Then she said the thing that absolutely pierced my heart. "A grandchild is the absolute best gift you could ever give your parents." O.U.C.H. As much as I want children for myself, the thought of disappointing our parents cuts me to the quick. (Logically, I know our parents aren't "disappointed" in us because of IF, and that they want nothing more than for us to be happy. My brain knows these things, but somehow, my heart doesn't quite trust it.) I was hurt and upset at first, but then I realized 2 things - (1) her comment was more about her (she has 2 girls in their mid-20's and I know she's hoping for grandkids) and (2) I WILL get to see my parents as grandparents. This week, in fact! It doesn't really matter who has the grandkids - I still get to be a part of it and see them in that different role. And that's oddly comforting.

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As I mentioned, my sister is due this week. Since I'm not sure how much (or not) she wants me to post about that here, I'll be brief. I know Ashley was hoping she'd deliver early, but it looks like that baby is hanging in there as long as possible. I couldn't be more excited to meet my niece! Seriously, it's like I'm boiling over with anticipation. Somehow, my sister having a baby doesn't hurt nearly as badly as you'd expect (or as I thought it might). Whereas other people are just having babies, my sister is having my niece. And that makes it different. I'm a part of it. Sounds nutty, I know, but somehow it changes things.

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Anyway, since this blog IS called The Follicle Report, I guess I should update on my first appointment after finishing up the birth control pills (which I'm totally blaming for this annoying 5 lbs I seemed to have inexplicably picked up). I had an ultrasound & bloodwork on Sunday. Everything looked good (including some antral follicles waiting in the wings), so I'll start stims on Wednesday and go back for more monitoring on Saturday, 3/14 to see how we're doing. Let's hope we're doing well!