Ambiguity

I think I've realized why I've been in such a good mood lately. (Unfortunately, I can't contribute everything to yoga.) I've truly embraced this state of limbo we are in. Which is odd because I'm a girl who likes to know where I stand. I like everything settled and neatly tied up with a bow. Nothing about this process is neat. I find that I'm actually dreading my pregnancy test because no matter what the results are, everything changes. I rather like thinking about the possibility that I could be pregnant, and I even like making plans for what to do if I'm not.

All that goes out the window once we know. Maybe it's healthy and this is a sign that I'm learning to accept that I have no control over anything. Or maybe it's really that old control freak in me rearing its ugly head again because I know I have no control over the results, so I just don't want to hear them. I could really go either way on that one. Maybe it's partially that old saying - ignorance is bliss.

So for now, I'll take the bliss and enjoy it while I can. ;-)