It's been a week since Michael left. (Only somewhere around 43 to go.) We've been talking at least once a day, which helps. I'm still procrastinating going to bed, but it actually IS getting easier.
I was in a painful training class on Thursday. It wasn't that the subject was bad, it just wasn't AT ALL what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be how to sustain your organization in tough times, but it was about environmentalism. I know - slight disconnect there. I guess it was more about how to sustain the earth - which is our collective organization on a grand scale. Or something.
Anyway, while I was trapped in this training, I realized that since dealing with infertility, I was thinking about things differently. The trainer, who was a little militant, was talking about overpopulation and how people were having more children than ever. I thought, "Great - it really IS just me." (But that was only a fleeting thought.) The militant part came when she said that to be socially responsible, people should have less than 1.2 children. I had never thought of having children in terms of the environment. It's not that I particularly agree or disagree with her, but it was interesting to think about. It did make me think about society's expectations and whether they might shift based on the environmental movement. What would it look like to have a culture shift from an emphasis on having kids to NOT having them? Would that change my struggle? Would I be embarrassed that I was trying to have kids instead of feeling shame that I couldn't?
I knew this whole struggle with infertility had changed me, but I realized - probably for the first time (I'm a little slow) that the way I see the world has changed. I never would have thought that a training class on "sustainability" would have connected with infertility. Who'd have thunk it?
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2 comments:
Being in a job connected with the environment, I think about that all the time, and run across others who are as militant as that lady all the time. ;) In fact, in my field, you are more in the minority when you HAVE kids.. so I've been a bit lucky there. (so just HOW did I end up with the pregzilla??? haha) Anyway, the problem is that if you DO want kids, the flip side to this is that most people don't see it as a big deal if you can't have them.
They're almost PLEASED you can't. You know? And that's painful as well. So I guess those of us with IF are just screwed. ;}
As for our population growth.. the US is actually fairly stable. We grow more through immigration than birth.
Interesting post! Thanks!
I've been thinking about blogging about overpopulation and TTC/IF for a few weeks now... coming soon!
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