My love is gone... That is the Cure song that keeps playing in my head. Lucky for me it's kind of an upbeat song!
Michael left at 6 AM on Saturday morning with nearly everything he owns loaded into the Murano and headed to Alabama until November. I was a wreck. Lucky for YOU, I didn't post then. ;-)
Before I go any further, I have to give a huge THANK YOU to all of you who either kept me busy (or tried to) or checked on me this weekend so I couldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself - Ashley, Tom, Connie, Abby, Susan, AT, Mom, Dad, Judy, and Mariahna. In my infinite wisdom & foresight, I also took a shift at the Domestic Violence Shelter on Sunday night, so that was a chunk of time I was occupied as well. All good things.
The bad times come for me when it's time for bed. That is when I feel truly alone. But I actually don't mind being alone. I mind not being with Michael. Does that make any sense? That is when I miss him the most. The last 2 nights, I have found myself being very "busy" when it's time for bed - cleaning, looking things up on the Internet, going through mail, you name it. I'm procrastinating so I don't have to go upstairs and get into bed without him. That's gotta end or I'm going to be exhausted.
The first morning he left, I walked into the closet and had to catch my breath. His entire side of the closet was nearly empty. I knew he took all of his clothes with him - I helped him load them in the car. But there was just something haunting about that empty closet. It felt like he left me. Like he moved out.
I know that time will make things easier. (Honestly, I don't know how those of you who are military wives do it. Major props to you.) I'm journaling (my Christmas gift from Michael was a nice new monogrammed journal), and that is really helping me not have verbal diarrhea on this blog. Well, not as much as I would otherwise. ;-)
Dad and I went to church on Sunday, and the sermon was oddly appropriate for the situation - stepping outside of your comfort zone to find your path in life and to find God. Then, the offering was for an orphanage in Kenya. Do you ever feel like someone is talking directly to YOU in a crowd? I like the new minister, so that is something I will definitely keep up.
Well, except for this coming weekend - I have a brunch with friends already on the calendar. Priorities.
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4 comments:
It makes perfect sense. I understand absolutely and completely.
Lots of hugs and thoughts for you.
You're a strong women. I can barely leave my husband for a long weekend without getting all emotional. I can't imagine for months at a time.
I hope your days are busy and your nights pass quickly.
Wow! I admire you for your strength. I'm here to listen to any verbal diarrhea you may need to shell out. (Adding you to my favorites. ;) )
Michael corrected me. That song is by The Violent Femmes, not The Cure. Oops! You get the idea, anyway.
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