I tend to follow a pattern here - sad post, happy post, sad post... you get the idea. I think because I don't want this blog to be one extreme or the other - all doom and gloom or all Pollyanna Happyface.
So today I decided to post because I am neither in the depths of despair or floating in the clouds. I am just ... here. (Although, if you mention Michael's pending departure on Saturday, I might lose it.)
2008 isn't looking so bad for me - now that it's here. We actually had a very fun New Year's Eve involving Indian food and a Scrabble game (which I didn't even win and I STILL thought it was fun). Now that's saying something!
Anyway, I'm trying to think of positive things I'm going to do while Michael is gone. It's kind of like if I have a plan of things I want to do, I won't be so down. I am going to start going back to church. I think it's time God and I got to know one another again. (I've been a wee bit angry with him.)
I'm going to focus on being healthy. I'm not going to say I'm going to lose 10 lbs or anything like that - mainly because I really don't need something else to fail at to make me feel like crap. (The weight I lost before Thanksgiving has all come back. Grrrr....) So - I really do need to lose that 5-10 lbs (again). Hopefully, that will just come from being healthy. ;-) That's the plan anyway.
Speaking of healthy - I talked to the endocrinologist today and my thryoid panel came back normal. TSH was 1.5 for those keeping track. I can start IVF again anytime we want to, but I think I want one more stable TSH reading in February and then plan on doing IVF in March. I won't get my heart set on March, (see - I HAVE learned something this year) but it's nice to have a ballpark idea of the timing.
So - for now let's all wish Michael the best on his trip down south. Keep reminding me that it's only temporary. And let's all hope that I don't completely lose my mind (what's left of it) while he is gone!
(Okay - so how was that for a "happy medium post"?)
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4 comments:
It was a lovely post.
I've learned something about what I can and can't plan too. It's good to know that at least we can take some life lessons away from this IF nonsense!
I identify a lot with the church thing (the angry and I also have comfort issues... not sure what I want out or religion and not sure I like our current church.) And I relate to the post stuff. I see my endo on Monday. I think I may ask her to take over some of my pcos stuff too since we cant' afford the Re anymore. She specializes in that too.
P.S. So sorry about michael leaving. :(
Great news about your TSH reading! I think it's a good idea to have another stable one before going ahead with IVF again. You are definitely a planner, so plan away! Actually, my life tends to be a bit disorganized, so if it'd help, you can plan my life too! Love you lots.
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