Smiled On

You know those days where you just feel smiled on?

Today was one of them. Despite the fact that it was cold and rainy. (Well, cold for August...) Several good things happened to me today.

First, I had a wonderful lunch date with one of my parents' friends who adopted her children. I thought I'd be talking with her about their decision to adopt, but we wound up talking mostly about the whole emotional process of infertility. It was great. I know I'm not alone in this - especially with all of you out there in blogland who are in similar situations, but sometimes it can just feel so lonely. And there are times when I feel so freakish for some of my feelings. But talking to her just reminded me that I'm NOT alone. She brought up a really good point - we try to deal with all this rationally. And it's not rational. It's emotional and biological and, well basically animal. I am a very rational, logical person - so thinking of something in any other way is really hard for me. But I think it's helpful to remind ourselves that logic and reason DO NOT APPLY in the land of infertility. I have those days where I feel like I truly hate random strangers (who are doing the heinous thing of walking around pregnant and adorably happy) - and then I beat myself up for feeling that way. But guess what? Sometimes SHE feels that way - even still! And she's a grandmother! So that made me feel more like a normal human than some horrible jealous she-devil.

The second good thing that happened to me today is that my friend Anita called me. She's the one I met on that trip to Georgia. I haven't talked to her since we were there last month and she's just one of those people that has the knack for putting things in perspective. She also shared some of the nice things people said about me after I left. Nothing like getting compliments out of nowhere to make a person feel good!

The third good thing happened at the gym, of all places. I take a core strengthening class on Thursdays and the instructor started chatting with me about where I got my workout pants at the end of class (lucy - awesome store). She is a talker and makes class go by REALLY fast because she is telling us funny stories the whole time. Before I knew it, we were talking about infertility. I honestly don't know how. And she said some of the usual annoying things (if you adopt, you'll get pg - maybe it's from stress, etc.), but I guess I must just be used to that at this point. Because it didn't really bother me. I was more impressed that she wanted to talk about it and may have even brought it up (since I can't remember!). It just made me feel good - I guess because she treated me as a person rather than a pariah or someone to be pitied.

And I'm totally PMSing, so any of these things should have made me extremely emotional. Usually right before my period, even talking about infertility sends me over the edge into tears. I guess I saved all that emotion for Obama's speech tonight. I know many of you don't agree with his positions/policies, and I don't usually post political stuff here, but I was just so moved by the sheer history of it all. That this is the first time an African-American has officially been nominated to run for President. Just awesome.