My Virgin Post was 1 year ago this past Wednesday (when I started this post). Not that I really want to celebrate. I started the blog for very different reasons than what it has evolved into. I started it after our second failed IUI to notify my close friends and family about what was going on with treatments (hence, the title). I hadn't really seen any other infertility blogs at that point. I actually got the idea from a friend of our family who has cancer and uses a blog to keep everyone up to date on the treatments & progress. So, I guess you could say I started it selfishly to avoid making those repetitive phone calls.
Actually, I honestly didn't think anyone would read my blog. Except maybe a few members of my family (I won't name names...). And now, even some of them avoid reading it because I am just too damn honest about my feelings. Which I guess is scary for people who love me.
I also didn't think my blog would last this long. Or maybe I thought I'd have converted it to a blog about my pregnancy - or even about my new baby (on my really optimistic Suzy-Sunshine days). But it's still just an infertility blog. And I'm not even going through any treatments right now - so you can see how much the purpose has changed.
Coincidentally, cycle #46 started right before this bloggiversary. So while this month marks the 3-year point of trying to have a baby, my body has actually been trying for the equivalent of almost 4 years. (Another anniversary I don't really want to be having...)
I'm bored with being Infertile Allison. I miss the old Allison. The person I got a glimpse of again in Georgia. The Allison who is funny (or at least manages to crack HERSELF up, even if nobody else laughs). The Allison who spends more time thinking about others than her own stupid problems. The Allison who is dedicated to her work and doesn't forget to do the hotline shifts she signs up for. But then again, even that Allison wants desperately to be a mother. So I'm not sure how to reconcile that. I'm just tired of feeling sorry for myself. It makes me a boring person.
And I do NOT want to be boring.
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Way too many details about our quest for a child of our own.
The Follicle Report
About This Blog - I began this blog to have one place to inform friends and family about our fertility treatments. Eventually, I expanded it to others I met on-line who were struggling too. Now, there are links here from other blogs, so there are people I don't necessarily know reading this. I welcome anyone and everyone who's interested.
About Us - We've been trying to have a baby since May 2005 and are considered to have "unexplained infertility". The only test that has ever come back abnormal on either of us diagnosed me with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis - which all the doctors say is not impacting my fertility. We have been through 4 unsuccessful Clomid cycles, 3 unsuccessful IUIs with injectables, three unsuccessful IVF attempts and one IVF cycle converted to an IUI, also unsuccessful. We have reached the end of the road.
This is my space to share our struggles with you and to try to keep my perspective on the whole thing. Thanks for reading.
About Us - We've been trying to have a baby since May 2005 and are considered to have "unexplained infertility". The only test that has ever come back abnormal on either of us diagnosed me with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis - which all the doctors say is not impacting my fertility. We have been through 4 unsuccessful Clomid cycles, 3 unsuccessful IUIs with injectables, three unsuccessful IVF attempts and one IVF cycle converted to an IUI, also unsuccessful. We have reached the end of the road.
This is my space to share our struggles with you and to try to keep my perspective on the whole thing. Thanks for reading.
Resource List
- Center for Reproductive Psychology (from the authors of Unsung Lullabies)
- Stirrup Queens & Sperm Palace Jesters - blog of all IF blogs
- RESOLVE Info for Friends & Family
- Thyroid Disease & Fertility
- Shady Grove Fertility
- IVF Overview
- Hormone Level Chart
- Infertility Awareness - "Empty Arms" Slideshow
- NY Times Article on Infertility
Infertility Dictionary
- ART - Alternative Reproductive Technologies (for example IUI, IVF, etc.)
- ER - Egg Retrieval (surgery to remove the eggs from my ovaries for IVF)
- ET - Embryo Transfer (putting the embryo from the petri dish into my uterus)
- Follicle - sack that releases the egg
- HSG - Hysterosalpingogram (test to make sure tubes are clear)
- IF - Infertility (or Infertile)
- Injectables - shots in the tummy to stimulate my ovaries to produce more/better eggs
- IUI - Intrauterine Insemination (aka - turkey baster method)
- IVF - In Vitro Fertilization (aka Petri Dish method)
- RE - Reproductive Endocrinologist (fertility doctor)
- The Wand - Transvaginal Ultrasound
- TTC - Trying to conceive
2 comments:
I'm sorry I don't have any answers for how to reconcile the old Allison with the IF one. It's something I struggle with myself. I'm hoping that now that I'm giving up on ttc and moving on to adoption I can regain some of my old pre-IF self. I hope you can find something that works for you. (((Hugs))) on your suckaversary .
I completely and totally understand and feel every word.
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