Early Menopause? Not So Fast...

Wow. Has it really been since February that I last posted? I should probably shut this thing down if I'm not going to post, huh?

Well, right now I have something to post. And it's even infertility related (well, kind of).

For the past few months, I've been having pretty bad hot flashes. They've woken me up at night repeatedly, so I've been pretty exhausted and irritable. I was planning to just ask my endocrinologist about it the next time I saw him, but then I missed my period.

I've NEVER missed a period. It's kind of funny that my first thought was "early menopause" rather than "pregnant" but I guess that's what this many years of infertility will get you. I did wind up taking a pregnancy test after 6 days - which of course was negative. But I also decided to make an appointment with my GYN. My internet sleuthing led me to diagnose myself with early menopause, but I wanted to talk to him about it.

I forgot who is in the waiting room at the GYN office. Pregnant women. Everywhere. Over and over again as I waited, I got to hear about 16-week check-ups and ultrasounds and see husbands rubbing bellies - everyone beaming. I felt like screaming. So - that gives you an idea of my mindset and emotional state going into the appointment.

I don't LOVE my GYN, but he's fine. He's always been attentive and referred me to my RE. I've been seeing him for about 10 years. This time, he glanced at my chart and mentioned something about a yeast infection (which was the last time I'd seen him, I guess). I said all that was fine and told him about my concerns. He confidently said I was not in early menopause and asked if I had ever been pregnant. Ummmm - no. Then he asked - get this - if I'd ever thought about seeing an infertility specialist. Excuse me? We've talked about my infertility EVERY time I have been to see him. I just looked at him in disbelief and said - YOU referred me in 2005! And then I told him (again) everything we had been through - all the testing, IUIs and IVFs. He asked what the RE's final recommendation was - and I just burst into tears. There WAS no final recommendation. We'd never have children and that was just that.

After my mental breakdown, we talked about testing for early menopause - which he agreed to do. He told me the levels would all come back normal and the only way to manage my hormone levels was ironically to... go on birth control pills. In the meantime, he suggested taking an antihistamine to knock myself out at night so the hot flashes wouldn't wake me up any more. (Which by the way - worked wonders!)

So of course, I got the results today. And he was right. Everything is normal - TSH, FSH and Prolactin.

Why do I continue to hope that something is wrong with me? I guess because clearly something is - we just haven't figured out what it is yet. And I just keep looking for the answer. It's not normal to have these hot flashes. And I forgot to even mention the weight gain. For the past 4 weeks, I've been trying to lose a few pounds. I'm training for a half-marathon and I started a boot camp. I'm tracking my calories and activity and netting less than 1300 per day. And I'm gaining weight. Makes no sense.

Anyway, I had the results sent to my endocrinologist. Maybe I'll ask him what he thinks when I see him in a few weeks.

And find another GYN...