Still Here, Still Confused

So being in the here and now apparently doesn't leave time for blogging. ;-)

Sorry I've been MIA. Work has turned crazy and when I'm home, I really just want to hang out with Michael. We've been having some really good times and some really tough times. Both of which require my full attention.

This week, we went to see a therapist to talk about future possibilities (i.e. adoption). It went really well. Michael has never been to a therapist before, so I don't think he knew what to expect. She gave us some good things to think about - including postponing any sort of decision-making until the Fall. I wanted us to go see her together because while I honestly don't know what I want to do (adopt or live childless), I'm leaning towards adoption and Michael is leaning towards remaining a family of 2. I didn't want us to get to a point where it became one of us winning and one losing. And in order for us to figure out what we should do, we actually have to learn more about adoption. Being the nerd that I am, I NEED to research. And if I was researching all by myself and making up my own mind about adoption, that really wouldn't be helpful because this isn't a me thing, it's an us thing. The therapist also suggested taking opposite sides as we learned. So for me it would be making a list of the cons to adoption and for Michael it would be focusing on the pros. I haven't had time to look into anything like an information session yet, but that will be soon.

It's weird. When we were still in the midst of IVF, I really wanted to start looking into adoption. I was jealous of people who were adopting. Now that it's our only way to have a family, I'm not as fired up. I'm actually scared. I think this is a whole other post, but it seemed appropriate to mention now.

Some friends of ours invited Michael and I to the beach with them for Memorial Day weekend. It really couldn't have come at a better time. We need a vacation like crazy! We haven't been on a vacation that didn't involve our families since our honeymoon in 2003. That is just wrong. We love our families and all, but all this trying to have a baby crap just got in the way of us taking the time to go anywhere. It was either that or he didn't have enough leave, we didn't have enough cashflow, blah blah blah. No more excuses - beach, here we come!