It's been awhile. Sorry for that, but not much has been happening. I started my period last week, and for the first time in a long while - it didn't involve any tears or sadness. I always thought somewhere in the back of my mind that we would get pregnant on a break cycle, but now I think I've accepted that if we ever do get pregnant, it will be with medical assistance.
Speaking of which - after 9 months of fertility drugs, I gained some weight. I kept exercising, thought I was eating well, but it somehow snuck up on me anyway. I forced myself to get on the scale after my pajama bottoms were tight. (Whose pajama bottoms get tight??!!) I was pushing maximimum density (my highest weight - circa the college years). I wasn't quite there yet, but I was pushing it.
Michael and I decided it would be a good idea if both of us went on South Beach before we head down to Alabama for Thanksgiving. After all, I can easily gain 5 pounds from just smelling my mother-in-law's cooking. I joke that her food must have crack in it because I just can't say no to anything she makes! Mmmmm... pound cake.... Plus, I found myself taking a tiny piece of chocolate when I walked by a candy dish at work. Which is fine - unless you walk past a candy dish 6 times a day! So, South Beach is good for me because I know I can't have any and my cheap rationalizations don't work.
So today marks the end of Week 1 and (drumroll, please...) I am down 5 pounds!! I'm amazed. I know most of it was water weight, and I definitely won't be able to - nor should I - keep up this pace, but it was good for the motivation factor. I only want to lose 6 more pounds, but I fully expect that to take...well, forever.
The other thing South Beach has been good for is serving as a distraction. I'm so busy thinking about what I'm going to eat (this diet requires a lot of prep!), that I'm not really thinking about having a baby - which has seemed to consume most of my life for the past 2+ years. It's oddly freeing. While it might not be helping tame the control freak side of me, it's at least a healthy obsession.
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8 comments:
I say Kudos to you for finding a distraction - especially a healthy one.
You know Allison, when I was in Chicago visiting I, here and I talked a tiny bit about you. We both marveled at how grounded you seem to be. It is pretty amazing how you seem to be able to take things in stride and have a reasonably healthy perspective on the things that happen in your life, including infertility. You really must be a very strong woman and are certainly an inspiration!
well for one, my pajama bottoms stopped fitting me.
two, i admire your strength for sticking to the program. i don't have the will-power to go on something like SB so i give you lots of props for that.
hugs!
Here here for distractions! I completely agree. I love getting involved in other things that take me away from this IF crap.
And hey.. whatever happened with your tsh numbers? Did they ever find out why they were so high?
Thanks for your comments - you all are so sweet. Funny you should ask about my TSH, Barb - because I just had it checked again today. I should have the results by the end of the week. No one seems to be able to answer my question about why it would spike like that - including old Mr. Google.
The good news is that I FEEL much better and "with it", if that makes sense.
Good! I'm glad you feel better! And yes, the "with it" makes perfect sense. I get in a fog when mine is higher. And it's never been THAT high! I remember complaining to DH that I just didn't feel as SMART as I used to be! And I just couldn't concentrate to save my life! I went from a hyper, outgoing chatterbox with a very quick mind, to a sluggish, depressed introvert who couldn't focus on a cereal box. It sucked.
Thanks for the update!
Okay, as your sister (and an honest one at that), you do not need to lose weight! Maybe your pj's were tight because Michael was doing the laundry again;) Keep us posted on your TSH levels.
Love you.
Just wanted to stop by and first of all thank you for supporting my blog. Sorry it took me so long to get on here but I just caught up on your blog.
Glad you have found a healthy distraction. Its always good to focus on something else rather than IF. Yes keep us posted on those TSH levels. Hope you get some good results.
I can identify with your situation as I too have gained weight from fertility meds.
Congrats on your weight loss. Hopefully your final 6 pounds will drop quickly.
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