I've Changed My Mind

Not about anything to do with IVF or having a baby, but about the blog. When I first started this in the spring, I think I only shared it with our siblings and parents. Then I started letting a few friends know who asked about how we were doing with all this. Then I started mentioning it to other family & friends. I asked that you all share it selectively, if at all.

Well, I've changed my mind. I say if people want to read about injections and follicles, have at it. I'm not sure why I was nervous about people reading this in the first place. Maybe because reproduction is such a personal thing. Maybe because I didn't really think anyone would WANT to read it. Or because it's kind of like reading my diary. Maybe it's because I was ashamed of our infertility - our apparent inability to do what every species on the planet can do seemingly without effort. I didn't want people to judge us or pity us.

I now realize that there's no use in being ashamed. Our troubles conceiving have nothing to do with us as people or with anything that either of us have done. It's not God telling us we'd be bad parents. It just is what it is - something for us to deal with. So - feel free to share the blog. Maybe it can even help someone else. At the least, it can help others to understand infertility a little more. (I know I was clueless before all this.) I've shared it with an on-line group of women struggling with their own fertility situations - incredibly strong, kind, wonderful women that I am so grateful to have found. It's good to be able to talk to people who know me in real life about this - but to be able to "talk" to people who have been there - or are there right now is so helpful and in a way, therapeutic.

So - with that out of the way - on to the injection report! The Follistim was easy - same thing I did for the IUI's, just more of it. The Menopur threw me for a loop though. I had 2 different syringes, 2 vials of powder, 1 vial of sterile water, and a Q-cap (which is kind of like a little internal needle that fits on a vial). Somehow - the stuff from those 3 vials had to get into me. Even with the instructions, I was stymied! Michael had to come help me. I was surprised that he knew what to do and he said - yeah, it's not like I went to a class for this or anything. ;-) So, he helped me figure it out and the needle was really very small, but the medication did burn a bit going in. Luckily, I didn't have any sort of skin reaction to it like the Lupron. And - I haven't freaked out and started randomly crying today with these hormones, so that is good too! Don't worry - I'll be sure to let you all know any insane things I do. I'm sure we'll get at least one good freak out through all this.